Ah, it's that time of year when I get to make up silly things for the holidays and scribble my insane thoughts for you to enjoy sending to your loved ones. Between bouts of the baby's icky illness and my real life, this is one of the cards I did for the holidays. I have more coming up, but for whatever reason, my brain was stuck on Christmas first - so I did those. I fixed up a couple of Halloween cards, which my sister and I will put on our site soon.
I feel like I've been battling the ideas in my head..I've been working on a story I hope you will enjoy, I am taking my time to make sure I do it right. It just takes so long...but it will be worth it! However, nefarious little pictures pop up in the middle of my doing this and I end up doing three pictures at one time. Someone brought up an idea - she wants to order a series of my reprints, about 16 of them in postcard size. Would you guys order something like this?

If you'd like to see more of Creepymama's artwork, please visit her and her sister, Olivia the Dollmaker at :
StagiWorks

Sexy Beast

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If not, have more beer. Or some such bullshit my mother told me.

This week has been at a loss with all my appliances issues - I'm finally going to get chance to start all this tonight..I'll be working these next two weeks on the idea of beauty and how I can twist it to fit my creepy little paintings. I've been working on this one painting of mine - doing the research and this little lady popped in my head. She's not the main focus by any means, but it got me thinking of all the things we women do to be beautiful. 

Now, do witches add warts? Do Ogresses apply Eau De Stink? Do Vampires get their teeth sharpened?  

Do you go in to get your creepy weave tangled?  If you'd like to see more of Creepymama's artwork, please visit her and her sister, Olivia the Dollmaker at :

StagiWorks

Where's the potty?!?

The time-honored rite of parenthood know as potty-training is upon us! I am heading towards potty-training my last child, it's been years, but teaching a little human how to use the facilities is no small feat. Beefy hasn't been too interested in going himself, but he seems to be investigating how my husband pees, how I pee, how his brothers pee, how to flush the toilet and even better, what can I flush down the toilet? He's even telling us when he's done the dirty deed, "POOP!!!!!" 

But has no interest in actually sitting on the can, that might take some time out from stealing crayons from Marc's craft desk. However, my sister is starting to teach my nephew the glories of the john and I just giggle, because this is her first round. I've been through three kids, the first is always the hardest. My oldest took awhile, but my second found the pee-glee of pissing on the tree in the backyard. It wasn't until I found a massive poop in the backyard (we had no dog) that I had to reign him in and explain the poop rules. The following is the text messages we've been having about it:

Violet: Potty training: 2 accidents so far, I think by the end of this the whole house will smell like pee.

Me: Rocky and E-man can compete to mark territory.

Violet: HAHAHA

Violet: Potty Training lesson I learned today: Take to potty right after dinner. Big poop and pee in his pants. I feel like a dummy for not thinking of this.

Me: Rookie! hahahahaa

Violet: LOL! I just spent 5 minutes pouring water on his wiener to get him to pee in the toilet. This is my life. 

Me: Please lock this message so u can remember it fondly. 

Violet: I will 

Me: The one thing I hated was when you had to cut them off of juice by a certain time of night. They always acted like they just got back from the Sahara.

Violet: LMAO!!! 

Me: Or the innocent face when you ask them, and they clearly smell like shit, "Did you wipe?" 

Not me!

The Not Me's

Beware! Be on the look out for these evil little creatures!  They are sneaky, devious and very destructive. Kill immediately upon discovery.

Signs you have the Not Me's:

They leave underwear on the floor, socks stuck in the vacuum cleaner, love to blow things up in the microwave, jelly & crumbs on every kitchen counter, leave school bags by the front door, track dirt in, stuff soggy food in small appliances, the cat is painted and glittered on a seasonal basis. I've asked my children repeatedly about these things and apparently, they can't see them either. If you'd like to see more of my artwork, please visit StagiWorks.

Bunny Love...

Now, my sister Olivia is a dollmaker. She loves picking out fabric, buttons and patterns to create something a child will love.  She's carried around fabric for over ten years knowing someday she'd have a need for it. I tried doll making and I have to say I love painting more and scaring the crap out of children. However, it taught me the skill and gave some new creative insights into my own work. It also got me thinking: what is the day of a doll like? Especially a doll made in my sister's workshop? Keep in mind, she has 9 kids, an Asian Mastiff named Hazel and for whatever crazy reason, a newly adopted puppy named Eleanor who is too round to try to lick her own behind. So, I imagine this is what this bunny is thinking.

A Day in the Life of Olivia's Bunny...(starring Ellen Degeneres' voice - because all my characters are celebrities in my head!)

Wow, this place is cold! Bunny thought. Hm....where is the lady? I need a blanket or something...

Oh, there she is. Hey, lady -

"GIANNA, I DON'T CARE IF DOESN'T MATCH YOUR OUTFIT! I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR A SICK KID - GOGOGOGGO!!!" The workshop/garage door closes with a bang...

"Now where is that thingamajigger.."

Um, lady? Can you spare a - OMG...it's that kid with the tail...nononoo! Let me go!

"HAZEL! Put that down, you silly girl!"

Ouch, that was my tail..ew...what is that on my ear? Look lady, you really gotta do something about that drooling kid with the tail. She keeps staring at me and my friends at night and I have to say it's getting a little creepy, you know what I mean?

"I'm gonna have to wash you...okay..HEY! Cyrus! Did you brush your teeth? No green rotting teeth in this house! Go - we are outta here in five minutes."

Bunny was carried through the morning chaos to the laundry room where she was plopped on a basket.

Geez, it stinks in here...what is that? Good lord...

Psycho music starts - Gianna is at the door - light shining behind her. "Your are so CUTE! Hm..." Gianna picks the Bunny up and scrams out there straight to her backpack.

AAAA!!! GET ME OUT OF HERE!? I've seen what she does to Barbie! NO! I don't want goth eyes! Lady!Lady! She's hiding a sharpie! I SAW IT WITH MY OWN BUTTONS!

"Everyone, let's go! Time for school!"

"Mom, where's the toothpicks for your belly button?"

"Gianna, we gotta go. We'll do belly lint later. Mary, hustle! Cyrus, for the love of God, where are your pants?"

"Oh, yeah."

Lady, can you hear me? I'm in the backpack, my ear is still wet and it smells weird in here. The crayons at the bottom of the this thing are sceaming at me not leave them on the sidewalk...what the hell is that about? Hello! Hello? Lady?

Bunny felt like she was moving - but she was in the dark and very nervous. She starting humming to keep herself busy. For awhile, she fell asleep in the cramped backpack and was then startled awake by the sound of a zipper and light.

"You are so cute! I'm gonna feed you lunch, okay?" Gianna smooshed a bit of tuna sandwich near Bunny's mouth. Oh no, this is gonna be messy. I don't even eat real food. Why does the kid think I need to eat? Whoa - ew! I'm gonna smell like that all day? Kid, I'm a doll. Your aren't supposed to really feed me, just pretend okay? Can you get a wipey or something? Bacterial wipes? I'm feeling a little grungy here....I'm not entirely sure this place is sanitized, ok? Has the lady washed your backpack lately?

The crayons were screaming at the sight of Gianna and then the zipper closed.

Shut up! Why are you making all that noise? She doesn't even know you're down there. What is going on here?

She said she was going to leave us on the sidewalk to melt. We're not made for that! WHAAAA!!!

Why would she do that?

She took us from some other kid, who is a FABULOUS artist by the way, we got the front of the fridge door-

Stop, stop. How long have you been here?

Six months.

Um, I think you're safe.

It was all quiet until a bell rang and children's voices rose, Bunny felt the backpack being picked up and bounced around. Gianna opened it and shoved papers in, not all way, so the it stayed open and Bunny could see out of it.

I have a chance! The lady is gonna see me!

"Gianna! Is that your bunny? She's so cute!"

Bunny was grabbed and then inspected by a group of stick hands. No! Stop touching me! My fabric is all sticky now. Ow! Those are my ears! Don't rip my fabric. Lady, where's the lady? Lady! Oh, God, leave the tail alone! That is not COOL.

"Gianna!" The lady was here! Her voice sounded like she did when she yelled at the ugly kid when it pooped on the floor. "You are in big trouble."

I am so glad you found me! I am filthy! Hey, look, can you help me out? I think a nice bath with bubbles and maybe a nice massage after? I've been though hell today, you have no idea. It was hot and smelly and the crayon guys wouldn't shut up. They are definitely annoying, but I think if you give them to that kid you call Anna, she'll take care of them. And all those kids touching me...it was, well, let's just say, I'm good, no little rabbits for me. I don't really know how you stay sane.

Wait, where are you taking me? Why are we in the laundry room? What is this - oh, hi guys! Where did the lights go? Whoa, we're spinning, why are we spin-AHHHAHAHHH I'M GONNA THROW  UP!!!!

Bunny was spun around then she was tossed into another spinny thing and fluffed dry.

Finally, her little head stopped spinning as she was set down on a shelf in the garage.

Lady, I am so glad to be here. I love kids, but I don't think I want to be held by one ever again-

"There you go, all clean. Don't worry, tomorrow I'm sending you to a new home and if you're lucky enough some kid will love just as much as Gianna."

The other bunnies started laughing.

Oh, shut up you guys....

If you'd like to order a bunny, click on the picture above  - thank you!

 

Multi-taskin' Mamas....

Work, football, lists, crafts, dinner, dishes, laundry - I feel like a crazy person lately. However, I did find time to interview, Olivia jones, owner of Project Random, at the football game we attended last Saturday.

Tell us a little about yourself.

I totally need a haircut - GOGOGO CYRUS! 

Um, a little more please. 

I'm a stay-at home mom - we have 9 kids - 

Good lord! Do you drink?

Not as much as you'd think....

What trends do you see coming up?

I see a lot of ugly and I do mean ugly stuff, like from the 80's being sold  a lot. I think people remember that time fondly and want something to see everyday to remind them of that feeling.  ( I can attest to the heinousness of the 80's - don't shoot the coffee out your nose but I had stretch pants and aquanet).

What makes you pick what you pick for your store? 

I pick things that speak to me - stuff I'd like to see in my house or a time period I'd like to experience.

What's your least/most favorite about your store?

I love looking for loot at yard sales - the least favorite would have to be coming up with words to describe everything...

Might I suggest a dictionary? I also understand your nephew has some colorful words you could use to spice things up. 

Very funny.

There you have it folks! Go visit ProjectRandom.etsy.com and this month they are having a fire sale! If you'd like an interview, please contact me - I guarantee you won't be bored.