Ah, it's that time of year when I get to make up silly things for the holidays and scribble my insane thoughts for you to enjoy sending to your loved ones. Between bouts of the baby's icky illness and my real life, this is one of the cards I did for the holidays. I have more coming up, but for whatever reason, my brain was stuck on Christmas first - so I did those. I fixed up a couple of Halloween cards, which my sister and I will put on our site soon.
I feel like I've been battling the ideas in my head..I've been working on a story I hope you will enjoy, I am taking my time to make sure I do it right. It just takes so long...but it will be worth it! However, nefarious little pictures pop up in the middle of my doing this and I end up doing three pictures at one time. Someone brought up an idea - she wants to order a series of my reprints, about 16 of them in postcard size. Would you guys order something like this?

If you'd like to see more of Creepymama's artwork, please visit her and her sister, Olivia the Dollmaker at :
StagiWorks

What the blog???

Geez, so many people get offended when you drop the f-bomb a few times in a blog. But isn't a blog by definition, an online journal and not just the money-making, job getting, freebie giving away thing it's become now? I am not the best writer, I know that for a fact. But I like to make people laugh and I was feeling a little anti-appliance and wrote the blog. I was trying to turn lemons into a lemonade martini. Because that's the way I was feeling. I won't apologize for it.
And like anything else, if you don't like what's on tv, radio, etc - don't watch, listen or read it. Too fucking bad if you don't like it. What I found really interesting was that my stats went WAY up on that blog. It almost took away the sting of what those two bone-heads wrote in to me. I'm not going to say or quote those two because I'm not going to give them an audience here. However, I feel I should point a few things just so we are clear -

1. Just because I use the word, 'fuck' or 'goddamn' doesn't make me an idiot or a writer who can't write. Never said I was a good/great writer. This is an online journal and I'm using it so you get to know me and my art. The most I hope for is that I spell shit correctly.

2. I like to make it a little interesting. I get tired of those boring blogs that are sanitized for human consumption. Who the hell cares?

3. I used the PMS angle because I am a woman and this is funny to me. If we can get something funny out of our periods besides cramps and tampons, I'm all for it. It's not vulgar (if it is to you, please read line 6)The next time you have a uterus, gentlemen, feel free to comment.


If you'd like to see more of Creepymama's artwork, please visit her and her sister, Olivia the Dollmaker at :
StagiWorks

Not me!

The Not Me's

Beware! Be on the look out for these evil little creatures!  They are sneaky, devious and very destructive. Kill immediately upon discovery.

Signs you have the Not Me's:

They leave underwear on the floor, socks stuck in the vacuum cleaner, love to blow things up in the microwave, jelly & crumbs on every kitchen counter, leave school bags by the front door, track dirt in, stuff soggy food in small appliances, the cat is painted and glittered on a seasonal basis. I've asked my children repeatedly about these things and apparently, they can't see them either. If you'd like to see more of my artwork, please visit StagiWorks.

Oh Nurse! What the -

My sister Violet inspired this piece, it's one of favorites. I always pictured the extreme glee she must take in giving obnoxious children shots. Blithely ignorant of her blood-spattered smock, she gives them leeches or vile-smelling brew made with some rodent part as a cure for something as minor as a splinter.

I know for a fact her job is not this exciting, but I like to use my imagination.

Come see this work and others at our shop: StagiWorks

King of Changovia

My husband thinks he's the king. He refers to our house as Changovia (his nickname is Chango) and I am his queen. The three older boys are the Jesters and the Prince of Changovia is two. The kingdom was quiet and somewhat serene, as much as it could be with so many jesters and their cohorts trampling through the castle, when the universe came along and said,
 "Fuck it, you're IT!"
Several things are happening at a rapid pace - the prince is starting to realize his evil toddler power with the word "MINE!" It he can reach it, grab it, eat it or break it, it's his!!!!
MWUAHAHAHAA....
The head jester, Type A is worried about graduating 8th grade - "OMG Mom, I have all A's and one D!!! Will they let me graduate?"
I roll my royal eyes. "Don't sweat it. You're fine."
My dainty 8 year old jester is just concerned about what outfit he will wear for the day and who gives a damn about division? "Does this make me look fat?"
"No, it's fine." His day-glow yellow shoes make me cringe, but he loves them.
Pottymouth is a hot royal mess right now. The universe went and started puberty (wtf! I wasn't ready!), therefore the King and Queen of Changovia are having to do the royal smack down more often than usual. Then this ugly, ugly little wart of problem popped up.
My ex-husband.
If I had a dragon, I'd totally sick it on this moron. The bottom line is he's not involved. Occassionally during his criminal enterprises he remembers he has kids and calls them. There are several layers of suckitude about the situation and for the most part, Pottymouth is the one affected the most emotionally by it all. We nurse him through his down times and let him know we love him. Puberty is not helping - but we are all sucking it up and dealing.
The King of Changovia and I decided to deal with the situation the best we know how and are moving forward in that direction for the best interests of the kids. I am astounded and grateful the King of Changovia just accepts the Jesters as his own and has no qualms about hugging them and telling them, "Hell no you can't have Rock Star at 9pm! It's a school night."

Bunny Love...

Now, my sister Olivia is a dollmaker. She loves picking out fabric, buttons and patterns to create something a child will love.  She's carried around fabric for over ten years knowing someday she'd have a need for it. I tried doll making and I have to say I love painting more and scaring the crap out of children. However, it taught me the skill and gave some new creative insights into my own work. It also got me thinking: what is the day of a doll like? Especially a doll made in my sister's workshop? Keep in mind, she has 9 kids, an Asian Mastiff named Hazel and for whatever crazy reason, a newly adopted puppy named Eleanor who is too round to try to lick her own behind. So, I imagine this is what this bunny is thinking.

A Day in the Life of Olivia's Bunny...(starring Ellen Degeneres' voice - because all my characters are celebrities in my head!)

Wow, this place is cold! Bunny thought. Hm....where is the lady? I need a blanket or something...

Oh, there she is. Hey, lady -

"GIANNA, I DON'T CARE IF DOESN'T MATCH YOUR OUTFIT! I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR A SICK KID - GOGOGOGGO!!!" The workshop/garage door closes with a bang...

"Now where is that thingamajigger.."

Um, lady? Can you spare a - OMG...it's that kid with the tail...nononoo! Let me go!

"HAZEL! Put that down, you silly girl!"

Ouch, that was my tail..ew...what is that on my ear? Look lady, you really gotta do something about that drooling kid with the tail. She keeps staring at me and my friends at night and I have to say it's getting a little creepy, you know what I mean?

"I'm gonna have to wash you...okay..HEY! Cyrus! Did you brush your teeth? No green rotting teeth in this house! Go - we are outta here in five minutes."

Bunny was carried through the morning chaos to the laundry room where she was plopped on a basket.

Geez, it stinks in here...what is that? Good lord...

Psycho music starts - Gianna is at the door - light shining behind her. "Your are so CUTE! Hm..." Gianna picks the Bunny up and scrams out there straight to her backpack.

AAAA!!! GET ME OUT OF HERE!? I've seen what she does to Barbie! NO! I don't want goth eyes! Lady!Lady! She's hiding a sharpie! I SAW IT WITH MY OWN BUTTONS!

"Everyone, let's go! Time for school!"

"Mom, where's the toothpicks for your belly button?"

"Gianna, we gotta go. We'll do belly lint later. Mary, hustle! Cyrus, for the love of God, where are your pants?"

"Oh, yeah."

Lady, can you hear me? I'm in the backpack, my ear is still wet and it smells weird in here. The crayons at the bottom of the this thing are sceaming at me not leave them on the sidewalk...what the hell is that about? Hello! Hello? Lady?

Bunny felt like she was moving - but she was in the dark and very nervous. She starting humming to keep herself busy. For awhile, she fell asleep in the cramped backpack and was then startled awake by the sound of a zipper and light.

"You are so cute! I'm gonna feed you lunch, okay?" Gianna smooshed a bit of tuna sandwich near Bunny's mouth. Oh no, this is gonna be messy. I don't even eat real food. Why does the kid think I need to eat? Whoa - ew! I'm gonna smell like that all day? Kid, I'm a doll. Your aren't supposed to really feed me, just pretend okay? Can you get a wipey or something? Bacterial wipes? I'm feeling a little grungy here....I'm not entirely sure this place is sanitized, ok? Has the lady washed your backpack lately?

The crayons were screaming at the sight of Gianna and then the zipper closed.

Shut up! Why are you making all that noise? She doesn't even know you're down there. What is going on here?

She said she was going to leave us on the sidewalk to melt. We're not made for that! WHAAAA!!!

Why would she do that?

She took us from some other kid, who is a FABULOUS artist by the way, we got the front of the fridge door-

Stop, stop. How long have you been here?

Six months.

Um, I think you're safe.

It was all quiet until a bell rang and children's voices rose, Bunny felt the backpack being picked up and bounced around. Gianna opened it and shoved papers in, not all way, so the it stayed open and Bunny could see out of it.

I have a chance! The lady is gonna see me!

"Gianna! Is that your bunny? She's so cute!"

Bunny was grabbed and then inspected by a group of stick hands. No! Stop touching me! My fabric is all sticky now. Ow! Those are my ears! Don't rip my fabric. Lady, where's the lady? Lady! Oh, God, leave the tail alone! That is not COOL.

"Gianna!" The lady was here! Her voice sounded like she did when she yelled at the ugly kid when it pooped on the floor. "You are in big trouble."

I am so glad you found me! I am filthy! Hey, look, can you help me out? I think a nice bath with bubbles and maybe a nice massage after? I've been though hell today, you have no idea. It was hot and smelly and the crayon guys wouldn't shut up. They are definitely annoying, but I think if you give them to that kid you call Anna, she'll take care of them. And all those kids touching me...it was, well, let's just say, I'm good, no little rabbits for me. I don't really know how you stay sane.

Wait, where are you taking me? Why are we in the laundry room? What is this - oh, hi guys! Where did the lights go? Whoa, we're spinning, why are we spin-AHHHAHAHHH I'M GONNA THROW  UP!!!!

Bunny was spun around then she was tossed into another spinny thing and fluffed dry.

Finally, her little head stopped spinning as she was set down on a shelf in the garage.

Lady, I am so glad to be here. I love kids, but I don't think I want to be held by one ever again-

"There you go, all clean. Don't worry, tomorrow I'm sending you to a new home and if you're lucky enough some kid will love just as much as Gianna."

The other bunnies started laughing.

Oh, shut up you guys....

If you'd like to order a bunny, click on the picture above  - thank you!