What the blog???

Geez, so many people get offended when you drop the f-bomb a few times in a blog. But isn't a blog by definition, an online journal and not just the money-making, job getting, freebie giving away thing it's become now? I am not the best writer, I know that for a fact. But I like to make people laugh and I was feeling a little anti-appliance and wrote the blog. I was trying to turn lemons into a lemonade martini. Because that's the way I was feeling. I won't apologize for it.
And like anything else, if you don't like what's on tv, radio, etc - don't watch, listen or read it. Too fucking bad if you don't like it. What I found really interesting was that my stats went WAY up on that blog. It almost took away the sting of what those two bone-heads wrote in to me. I'm not going to say or quote those two because I'm not going to give them an audience here. However, I feel I should point a few things just so we are clear -

1. Just because I use the word, 'fuck' or 'goddamn' doesn't make me an idiot or a writer who can't write. Never said I was a good/great writer. This is an online journal and I'm using it so you get to know me and my art. The most I hope for is that I spell shit correctly.

2. I like to make it a little interesting. I get tired of those boring blogs that are sanitized for human consumption. Who the hell cares?

3. I used the PMS angle because I am a woman and this is funny to me. If we can get something funny out of our periods besides cramps and tampons, I'm all for it. It's not vulgar (if it is to you, please read line 6)The next time you have a uterus, gentlemen, feel free to comment.


If you'd like to see more of Creepymama's artwork, please visit her and her sister, Olivia the Dollmaker at :
StagiWorks

Sexy Beast

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If not, have more beer. Or some such bullshit my mother told me.

This week has been at a loss with all my appliances issues - I'm finally going to get chance to start all this tonight..I'll be working these next two weeks on the idea of beauty and how I can twist it to fit my creepy little paintings. I've been working on this one painting of mine - doing the research and this little lady popped in my head. She's not the main focus by any means, but it got me thinking of all the things we women do to be beautiful. 

Now, do witches add warts? Do Ogresses apply Eau De Stink? Do Vampires get their teeth sharpened?  

Do you go in to get your creepy weave tangled?  If you'd like to see more of Creepymama's artwork, please visit her and her sister, Olivia the Dollmaker at :

StagiWorks

Where's the potty?!?

The time-honored rite of parenthood know as potty-training is upon us! I am heading towards potty-training my last child, it's been years, but teaching a little human how to use the facilities is no small feat. Beefy hasn't been too interested in going himself, but he seems to be investigating how my husband pees, how I pee, how his brothers pee, how to flush the toilet and even better, what can I flush down the toilet? He's even telling us when he's done the dirty deed, "POOP!!!!!" 

But has no interest in actually sitting on the can, that might take some time out from stealing crayons from Marc's craft desk. However, my sister is starting to teach my nephew the glories of the john and I just giggle, because this is her first round. I've been through three kids, the first is always the hardest. My oldest took awhile, but my second found the pee-glee of pissing on the tree in the backyard. It wasn't until I found a massive poop in the backyard (we had no dog) that I had to reign him in and explain the poop rules. The following is the text messages we've been having about it:

Violet: Potty training: 2 accidents so far, I think by the end of this the whole house will smell like pee.

Me: Rocky and E-man can compete to mark territory.

Violet: HAHAHA

Violet: Potty Training lesson I learned today: Take to potty right after dinner. Big poop and pee in his pants. I feel like a dummy for not thinking of this.

Me: Rookie! hahahahaa

Violet: LOL! I just spent 5 minutes pouring water on his wiener to get him to pee in the toilet. This is my life. 

Me: Please lock this message so u can remember it fondly. 

Violet: I will 

Me: The one thing I hated was when you had to cut them off of juice by a certain time of night. They always acted like they just got back from the Sahara.

Violet: LMAO!!! 

Me: Or the innocent face when you ask them, and they clearly smell like shit, "Did you wipe?" 

And the sewing machine flies out the back door.....

Taking a break from the Nursery Rhymes to fill you all in on what's been going on in Creepymama's dungeon. It's fall  - the kids are back in school, football is in full swing and my brush is flying across paper.
My sister and I finally sold some embrodiary patterns on our site, Project Stockpile - yahoo!!!
While we are working on our lovely venture, I've taken the task of learning how to sew. I'm aiming to bring my creepy little characters to life for some lovely fiend, I mean, child, to sneeze/hold/slobber on. As soon as I finish them, I will let you guys know.
I've discovered the fun of having a new toy/tools to work with. However, given my history with small appliances, I've hit a snag with the ancient sewing machine my sister is kindly letting me use. The other night, the thread kept jamming underneath, strands of thread everywhere, my fabric crumbled, kids giggling at me cursing- then a brief thought - wondering how hard it would be to toss this beast right out the back door?
Now, I come across this trait genetically. I was five, sitting on the back steps of our house when I heard my mother, "Motherf%^er!!!!!"
And our silver toaster flies over my head, landing ten feet from me.
This is the same woman who cried when her 20-year old vacuum cleaner died with a gasp in our living room. It was one of those many tentacled monstrosities of shiney tubes and puke green outer shell. I was never so glad to see something go in my life. As my sister and I can attest - that thing was a pain in the ass to vacuum with. The tubes always fell apart, emptying the bag was like giving the damn thing a transplant - it had to be put on just so or it would not work.
I gave up with the sewing machine and Olivia, my sister came over and fixed it last night so I could continue on my doll-making quest. I'm hoping this evening I can finish my doll - hope you guys like it when I'm done...
Have a creepy day!

You can also visit my art work at my site, M.Stagi's Creepy Family - there is 20% off if you place your order before the 31st!

Gothedy Ann

Don't you love when good ideas spring up and smack you? I know I do. My crafty partner in crime, Olivia Jones of ProjectStockpile and I were talking about how our Grandma used to make those Raggedy Anns and how cool it would be to make some, blah, blah, blah. At the same time we were checking out these creepy little dolls other folks have made and inspiration struck. I mentioned this to a friend of mine and she suggested putting a piercing on her nose! Hmm..never considered that before....However, there are some other things that we have brewing...keep an eye out and visit us often!